December 2004 Newsletter

Jackson Hole Outfitters, email  

Another successful season is behind us and I am already missing it. I love to hunt! Telling stories in the off-season about hunting is how we keep our sanity.

Moosing around, again : Moose have it in for me. I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I deliberately antagonize them by making rutting sounds. Nah, couldn’t be that. It probably has to do with the fact that Grant is always harassing me to leave the big black critters alone. Anyway, I was minding my own business, (for once) leading the horses down the trail to join Rich who was hunting out ahead of me, when I bumped into a nice bull moose. As soon as he saw the horses and me the hair raised on the back of his neck and he came for us, a deliberate stalking gait that obviously says "I‘m king of the mountain and you have invaded my space". I was on a narrow trail in the timber and couldn’t turn around with two horses tied together. I started throwing sticks at him (couldn’t find a rock) and quietly telling him to depart. He stopped, but then came on again, intent on cleaning my plow. I decided "to heck with deer hunting" and started yelling at him, loudly, and throwing more sticks. He didn’t bluff easily. By this time he was a mere 30 yards away. Do you know how big a bull moose looks at 30 yards when you are on the ground in heavy timber? I was ready to run through the timber and leave the horses to fend for themselves. I quickly looped the reins over Shadow’s saddle horn, who wanted to flee anyway (sorry, pard, it’s you or me), ran back and unclipped Ranger’s lead rope from Shadow’s pop string and got behind them and headed back up the trail in a big hurry. I had to hurry because two horses were trying to step on me and a bull moose was trying to step on them. Satisfied with our cowardly flight the bull stopped. We also stopped 100 yards up the trail. Anyway, it took 15 minutes for the bull to finally leave.

Huntin’ Stories: You can find a complete report of the hunt on my website, with elaboration of lots of the details. I’ll tell what I have room for here. Very briefly, we had 65% kill on bucks, with a couple of 30 inchers and some other good ones, and 54% kill on bull elk, including one 340 bull and eight bulls that were 5 or 6 pointers. Most of those who didn’t kill had chances.

Magazine Cover Buck: Sorry if these newsletters often seem like the "Ingram Report", but it seems that the Ingram Brothers always kill bucks with stories attached. As you know, I assign a guide to each two hunters and then I spread myself around to help out where needed. The day I hunted with Brett, Bruce, and guide Sparky, Brett and I eased over to the edge of a cliff and looked off and the buck pictured at the top of this newsletter was standing 125 yards below us on a snowbank looking up at us.  A picture perfect magazine cover buck! Brett leaned against a tree trunk and plastered him.  Killed it in some incredibly steep cliffs at the top of the mountain. Sparky and Brett had to work it down the cliffs while brother Bruce and I took the horses 3 1/2 hours around to the bottom.  Click for picture

Walkup Wallops Wapiti. Foster Follows: Dan Walkup, Eddie Foster, John Boerschig, and I heard elk bugling over at the edge of the canyon. Guide Tom was sick that day but got to pack the bulls out the next day. John had killed his 5 point bull the day before, so he helped us out. Dan shot a HUGE 6x6 with a 280 yard shot through one small hole in the timber at 8:30 AM.  A few minutes later Eddie killed another big 6x6 across the canyon, probably 500 yards.  See Picture of both bulls  Dan’s would have scored 340 except non-symmetry made him a 330 bull.  This bull died in the most difficult and unusual position I have ever seen. Picture  We stood there for 15 minutes just trying to figure out how to take care of him.  He dove down a very steep mountain and hit between two tree trunks in a V shape. His antlers jammed against the V and he slid down to the base, with his chest constricted between the trees, his front legs and shoulders sticking straight out the downhill side and his back, guts, and hams in a lump at the base of the trees. Picture His right antler top fork was wedged on a log.  We couldn't budge him a half inch.  It took us 3 1/2 hours to quarter the hinds, pic  remove the backstraps, cut his backbone in half, pull him half apart, gut him from the top pic (try it sometime!), and then pull him out from between the tree trunks pic so we could cape him and finish quartering him.  It took us the rest of the day to get the horses near him and to get the pieces to the horse trail.  It is a good thing Dan is in great physical shape or we might still be there eating him.  Meanwhile, John and Eddie had their work cut out for them. They didn't know if Eddie’s bull was hit, but went across the canyon and found him. pic It was a LOT of work to get him to the horse trail. 

"Lucky" Out of Luck: "Lucky" is a heavy 30" buck that we have been after for three years.  That buck has had at least 24 shots fired at him by our hunters.  Steve Azevedo was the "lucky" hunter who finally connected. Pic Undoubtedly one of our best bucks of the season.

Ya Gotta Work for ‘em!: Kirk Parrish killed a beautiful 6x6 buck at 350 yards, the farthest by 200 yards that Kirk had ever shot at anything. pic You guys that come out from whitetail country don’t realize how vast our terrain is. Kirk and I climbed a huge mountain and spotted this 28" trophy. It took Kirk a while to get a good rest against some timberline jackpines and make the shot at a steep uphill angle. Then the harrowing climb to the buck and the much more difficult descent packing the pieces made for quite a day.

Old Bucks are Smarter: Gary Lawrence, guide Tom, and I had a big 30 inch buck with massive palmated tines bedded in a patch of scrub pines at 310 yards for 7 hours.  During that time the other 7 bucks got up and fed and could have been killed easily, but this buck only stood twice, turned around in his bed, and laid down again, never offering a shot.  Too much brush.  Someone was always watching him through a spotting scope for that 7 hours.  When he finally moved he went downhill through the trees, not offering a good shot. It is uncanny how different huge bucks are from the dinks. A couple of days later Gary killed a nice 27 incher.  pic

Trio Topple Trophies: Tom Backer, Mark Simas, and John Primasing had a great elk hunt, in spite of the rain, snow, and mud (LOUSY weather the last part of October). They hung in there and it paid off with a 4x4, 6x6, and 5x5.  pic

Buck Commits Suicide:   While getting off his horse Rich Kerri's foot slipped out of the stirrup and he fell heavily on his back on a sharp rock.  After getting back home the doctor found two broken ribs.  Rich and Sparky were sitting letting him recuperate when a buck walked out of the timber and right up to them.  Sparky leaned back as Rich put his rifle in front of Sparky and killed the buck at 40 yards.  "The good Lord knew I couldn't hunt any more, so he sent that buck to me."

Krazy Kraut Konks King Kritter: Henning and Marion Behrens are my favorite German immigrants. They own Wyntoon Resort at Trinity Lake, California. Marion told me to refer to Henning as the Krazy Kraut, so you‘ll know I‘m not being disrespectful, Marion is, which is about typical for wives. Anyway, Henning killed a beautiful 28" 6x5 with a fantastic running snap shot just at sundown on the top of a big cliffy mountain. pic of Jonesy & Henning   pic of Brian and Henning   We spotted the big buck an hour before dark and left Henning's wife, Marion, to watch it while guide Brian and I took Henning after it.  It was a very difficult climb up to where we had seen the buck.  We followed his tracks and then spotted his head looking at us over the ridge.  He bolted and Henning just threw up his rifle and shot.  We couldn't believe it when we heard the buck tumbling through the brush.  Just enough light for pictures.  Caped and quartered it by flashlight and down the rough steep mountain in the dark packing the meat and head.  All this time Marion had been by herself in the dark a mile away and had become separated from the horses.  She didn't panic at all, just waited calmly for us.  One tough sweet gal. On the ride down the mountain I told her of the run-in I had with Sasquatch in that same canyon. She still didn’t panic, just figured it was another one of Jonesy’s tall tales, of which she has heard a plethora.

Healthy Enough to Hunt? I had four hunters cancel this year because of health issues, some at the last minute, and one went to the good hunting ground in the sky because of cancer. My wife, Din, and I have recently learned about a major medical discovery. According to medical researchers these glyconutrients are absolutely essential to cellular health and immune function.  They are as essential as vitamin C is in preventing scurvy.  Four of the last eight Nobel Prizes for medicine were given for this discovery.  It really is a new medical breakthrough.  We have had two personal friends cured of cancer by using glyconutrients and I am convinced my Mother would still be alive had we known about it three years ago.  Because it repairs the immune system and deals with proper cellular communication, many ailments such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, fibromyalgia, asthma, arthritis, glaucoma, macular degeneration, Lou Gehrig's disease, Lupus, cystic fibrosis, multiple sclerosis, migraine headache, Downes' Syndrome, Autism, cerebral palsy, ADD, ADHD, and others, are relieved, some actually cured.  Investigate at the website www.glycoscience.com then contact us.  It may save your hunt and your life.  At the very least it will help your overall health and will likely prevent these diseases.  Check out the information including testimonials at http://www.glycoinformation.com 

It’s hard to describe the bond that develops between a guide and his horse that he has ridden hundreds of miles in tough terrain. Duke had his quirks, but so do I. He didn’t like to be told what to do anymore than I do. When trying to catch him he would run away, make a big circle, and then come back right to me and offer to be caught, as if to say, "I‘m only being caught because I want to." Bye friend!  pic

Tim’s First Try for Elk: Fifteen year old Tim Page gets this guest shot. "This is my first elk hunt and it was very exciting at every corner.  Saw a HUGE mule deer. I peeked my head over a hill and saw some cow elk and a pretty good size bull.  We went and looked for him but never saw him again. Day three we stopped and glassed and saw 8 elk and 1 spike move out about 500 yards away and we went after them and never saw them again.  We went to Jonesy's honey hole and saw two cows.  We climbed the ridge and saw four more cows.  Went up a steep hill with a lot of snow and spooked up a lot of cows but didn't see any bulls." Tim didn't tell about the incredible fall he took, end over end down a steep muddy slope. Tim and I climbed a steep mountain in hip-deep snow, found the elk, but didn't get a shot.   Dad Don and guide Sparky were watching from below and saw the big bull go out ahead of us.  From Dad Don;  "Tim and I have seen more game than we could have imagined-- huge muleys, moose, over 100 elk, cat sign, all in a hunt marred by heavy snow and rain.  Sparky has been great, showing extreme patience dealing with a couple of flatlanders.  We had a great time and look forward to the next trip.  I was pretty proud of how hard Tim worked and put the old man to shame."

Have a Cool Yule and Frantic First!