Spring 2000 Newsletter
Howdy Guys & Gals,
Hope you wintered well and you aren't too long in the tooth to keep some meat on your bones.  I've been in my office too much this winter. Need some mountains with a good horse under me. 
Dunderklumpen: The other day I went through Swan Valley where some of my horses are at winter pasture and found Shadow. Walked up to him in the field and gave him a hug, sayin'  "How you doin', you old Knothead"  (He thinks Knothead is his middle name.)  He and I both needed a good hug, but then I heard him mutter to Sheik as I walked away, "Dunderklumpen is just butterin' us up so he can put us to work."  Later I asked Art Keck, our camp cook of German ancestry, what dunderklumpen means and he said it means bumbling fool, clumsy oaf, or something like that.  Just wait 'til I get on Shadow again ......
Winterin' report: Winter has treated the critters well.  Had a lot of snow up high, but so warm that the wintering range and south-facing slopes have been bared off most of the winter.  We only hit 20 below zero on two nights, which is highly unusual for here. We've probably had a dozen or so nights of 10 below.  Days have been warm.  Why the weather report?  Because that is what translates into big racks on the bucks.  If they have a mild winter they go into the spring in good shape and grow braggin-sized headgear.  Also, the heavy snowpack up high assures melting all summer to keep the high timberline basins cool and green.  Lots of  feed.
Game management Report: March 27 the Game & Fish Dept. had an open house where they showed us their winter critter counts and showed us what they were proposing for season dates. The herds look good, the deer are coming back, and we have a good buck/doe ratio of 40:100.  I have a couple of minor disagreements with them on their seasons. They are proposing some doe seasons in areas adjacent to Greys River and Star Valley.  The deer herds are coming back, even though they are not up to management objective, and they claim it won't kill many does.  I just feel that if they are below objective they shouldn't be killing any does.  Another disagreement I have is they are extending the deer season to Oct. 14, then elk opens Oct. 15 in Greys River.  I contend that this will allow elk hunters to set up elk camp a couple of days early, then kill some deer and possibly poach an elk the day before it is legal.  Probably not too many elk will be killed that way, but I'm sure a few will.
Note on outfitter's lawsuit: The judge still hasn't ruled, even though it has been almost a year since he said he would.  I'll keep you posted. We are all getting impatient.
Permit drawing: Speaking of "friendly discussions" at meetings, a couple of outfitters and I had quite a go-round with some of the G&F personnel, trying to explain to them our license-drawing problems as outfitters. Of course they were critical of our lawsuit. You guys know the problem: you can't draw a permit, we outfitters can't plan a specific number.  I have to book too many hunters in order to beat the draw, so it makes odds for everyone go down, including you do-it-yourself non-residents.  If outfitters could get permits for our clients we wouldn't be overloading the draw.  One Game Biologist was complaining that his brother has a hard time drawing a permit.  We stated that if outfitters had permits then his brother would have an easier time getting drawn. All we are asking for is an additional 3% of the available elk licenses and 6% of the deer licenses. That would stabilize our industry where we wouldn't have to book an excess of clients to fill the camp. Both you and I would like to know a year ahead of time that we will be hunting together. I made the point in the discussion that outfitters are the only industry in the State that is not guaranteed a client.  They hooted at that, but I stood by my guns.  They said no business was guaranteed a client.  I stated that every business, car dealership, grocery store, insurance agent --you name it -- can sell to anyone that walks in the door, except a Wyoming outfitter.  Our clients have to fill out a paper, send money to the state, wait several months, then have a 50% chance on not getting to do business with us. Anyway, the discussion lasted a long time and most people just don't understand that we don't want to "grab" licenses, we just want stability. 
The key to a good hunt; I firmly believe that a good guide is the main thing a hunter needs, of course assuming he is hunting in an area with adequate numbers of game animals. It would be ideal if an outfitter, and hunters, could have the same guides year after year, but in real life it doesn't work that way. A couple of my guides have done stupid things like get married or get a real career job and I have to replace them. My core staff have been superb and one of them, Grant, has been with me since 1983 and will be here again next year. Warren has been with me for 6 years, but just bought an Idaho camp and will be only part time from now on. Cole has worked for me for 12 years. I have a couple of guides who work for me a week or two each fall, but then have to return to their full-time jobs. So I am looking for a couple of top-quality guides for this coming season. I tell you this to let you know how I feel about guides, and perhaps you that get this newsletter may refer someone who may be a great guide. Most of my guides are locals, but I find that where a guide lives has nothing to do with how good he is. In fact, I've had some real negative experiences from local guides, and some absolutely great non-resident guides. A couple of residents have guided for me, then told their family and friends where we kill the big ones. It has caused some feelings when I see a former guide hunting a place that I showed him.
My area is absolutely gorgeous hunting country, with timberline basins, meadows, heavily timbered hillsides as well as semi-open terrain. You can find any habitat you wish to hunt in. Camp is 6,700 feet elevation, with mountains going up to 10,500 ft. We drive to my Forest Service permitted tent camp in a vehicle but all hunting is done from horseback. 5 horse trails
leave from camp, with another 12 trails that we trailer the horses to, from 2 to 12 miles away. We leave camp well before daylight and come in after dark, hunting hard all day. We don't waste time during the day but are actively working to help our hunters get game. A short nap sometimes in mid-day is okay, but just a short one.
It might be helpful to list what we do as guides, so you hunters will know a bit about what it takes to run a hunting camp. The guide will be expected to spend a lot of his own time in the area, plus I will hire him full-time for two weeks ahead, showing him the area and intensively scouting it.  It's amazing how much ground you can cover in a day on a good horse. Often a first-time guide will know the big bucks by their first names before the season starts, giving him an advantage over a local who just shows up, not having seen the area since the previous year. Of course a first year guide doesn't get paid as much, but I pay according to what I get in return and I expect the best.  I pay a bonus for extra effort and trophy kills. I won't expect a guide to do anything that I will not do.  I assign a guide to each two hunters (sometimes one-on-one) and I trade off going with a different guide and his hunters each day so that the hunters get a chance to walk behind me with a loaded gun to remind me what I told them when they booked the hunt. I haven't been shot in the back yet because I tell them the truth about their chances on a hunt and I work hard for them. I'm in the top trophy buck area of the state and also in an excellent elk area. This is an area that a guy has a reasonable chance to kill a 6 point bull or a 30 inch buck.  I expect a guide to help me give quality service to the hunters.
     Guide duties: This is what I do as a guide and I expect my guides to do the same. * I get up as soon as the alarm goes off in the morning and don't rely on anyone to come and get me out of bed. * I don't smoke. Cigarette smoke smells to high heaven and elk and deer can smell it on your clothes a mile away.  * I don't drink. If a guide has an occasional beer at night, no problem, but we are here to hunt and not party.  * A guide must be familiar with horses.  Some horse skills call be taught but there is nothing like experience.  I've had 40 years' experience with horses in dude strings and they can kill you without even meaning to. A guide needs to know how to handle them in rough country to keep his hunter out of trouble.  * I love to guide hunters and I really enjoy helping them have a good time.  A guide must be personable, able to get along well with clients.  He needs to be friendly, helpful, and cheerful.  * I'm in great physical shape.  I can out-hunt guides who are 20 years younger than me.  I hunt smarter because of experience, but when we are making a drive I almost always volunteer to go the long way around or the farthest down and back up.  I love a guide who will argue with me about it and want to do the hardest part.  In the deepest canyons is where the greatest rewards are, not only in seeing game but in the sheer beauty of the solitude. * Physical condition is important.  No pot gut, not overweight, no bad knees.  * I can spot a buck on a hillside 900 yards away and the best guides can do the same.  Last season while we were riding a trail I spotted the white face-patch of a small buck in a stand of timber.  We killed his big brother who scored 204 B&C.  Not bragging, just telling what it takes to be a good guide.  Good eyesight is a must.  No glasses (contacts okay). Glasses fog up continually and are a real nuisance.  I wear glasses for reading and that's okay because not many bucks are 18 inches away, but if you can spot that buck on a distant hillside in fading light, that is the ultimate. * I'm a hunting fool.  I would rather hunt than eat or sleep.  I measure professional success by being able to guide a hunter to a Boone and Crockett animal.  I get more enjoyment out of helping a guy get that trophy buck than of shooting it myself.   Incidentally, I don't allow my guides to carry a rifle.  The hunter is the shooter, the guide is there to help him get a good shot.  * I give a complete Success Report/Reference List of every hunter I take each year, along with how they did on their hunt and their phone number.  I'm not ashamed of any hunter I ever took hunting and a guide must help me with that reputation rather than be a detriment to it.  I've had an occasional guide (very rare) fail to give quality service and nothing makes me madder.  Our client has trusted us to give him a good hunt.  We must not let him down!  * A guide must have proper equipment.  Warm clothes (wool is best), good boots, good hat (I prefer a guide wear a cowboy hat most of the time, not always), good binoculars, a good spotting scope, backpack (day pack), range finder (Bushnell laser 800 is the best), sharp knife, Leatherman (or other similar tool).  Some of these items I can help him with if he can't afford them.  *A guide needs to know how to cape an animal, quarter it, and pack it on a horse. This stuff can be taught.  *Be able to follow instructions and directions.  I'm not a hard-to-get-along-with guy but when I give instructions to "always put the pin back in the horse trailer hitch", I expect it to be done so we don't have to replace that pin three times in a season.  *Follow the game laws.  We play by the book, not "walk on the edge".  * Know what a trophy buck or bull is.  I don't want a guide talking a hunter into shooting a minnow.  In fact, I don't want him talking a hunter into anything.  It is the hunter's choice to pull the trigger.  If the hunter passes, the guide is to smile and say, "Okay. Let's go find a bigger one."  If a guide can do the above things, then he is the kind of guy I want to have on my team, and I've got a good crew.
Nags join Wags; The National Association of Gals (NAGS) don't hold a candle to Women Against Guides (WAGS) for sheer ability to strike fear into the hearts of peace-loving men everywhere.  An unsuspecting young man falls in love.  His bride vows to "honor, cherish, and obey, and not interfere with his frequent hunting trips." (that line was in your vows, wasn't it?)  She forgets all about those last few words and hits high volume the first time her husband mortgages the dog and the kids to go on an elk hunt in Wyoming.  She joins with other WAGS to form chapters nationwide, then they get with the anti-gun lobby and form Women Against Gun Shops (also WAGS) to try and eliminate the tools of hunting.  They succeed in eliminating guns in Australia, severely curtailing guns in Canada, and introducing wolves into the wilds of Wyoming so they may eat either all the elk or all the hunters, and not necessarily in that order.  Meanwhile, back in the jungle, er, suburbs, the poor naive newly-married oaf goes on about his business of preparing for that once-in-a-lifetime elk hunt.  Every day he hauls out his 700 Nitro-Express Eargesplitten Laudenboomer, "Old Whomper", and lovingly polishes the stock.  Of course he doesn't shoot it, having learned that lesson shortly after he bought it, but he figures in the heat of the moment, with a huge 6 point bull in his scope, he won't feel a thing, and hopefully the elk won't either.  On a crisp morning in mid-October he carefully packs the rifle in the airplane-proof gun case ...... but where is the bolt?!!  He didn't ever remove the bolt!  "Honey! Where's my bolt?" he screams in panic.  "What's a bolt?" his sweet young wife innocently asks, a malicious smile playing around the corners of her mouth. "It worked!" she inwardly exults!  For a certain "donation of various gun parts" she is now an Honorary Vice-President of the local chapter of WAGS.  Her unsuspecting husband frantically ransacks the house, makes a frenzied phone call to his outfitter, and is assured that they have a back-up rifle he can use.  Of course the sweet little woman doesn't realize he now has an excuse to buy a new elk-slayer, probably at top dollar on this very hunting trip, but for the moment she and her fellow WAGS are happy at thwarting the eeeevil hunters, temporarily.
Don't laugh, guys! Truth is stranger than fiction. I, myself, am missing a bolt from a rifle.  Been missing for years.  Not making any accusations, but do you know where your innocent little wife is tonight?  Think about it.  I personally think women and horses are a communist plot!
Take care! Jonesy

  Return to Newsletters page.

 

Return to:  Jackson Hole Outfitters Home Page   Hunting:    Main Page   Newsletters   Success Reports   Camp   Price List   Pictures  Q&A   Articles   Summer:   Trail Rides